While we're on the subject of peace...In my own search for peace, I've been reading
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron, an American-born Tibetan Buddhist nun, and it's blowing my little mind. One of the things she seems to be saying is give up hope. Hope takes you out of the present, which cuts you off from the real experience of life. Hope also sets up a false idea that one day everything will be groovy, and this false idea causes suffering. The reality is that some days will be groovy and some days won't. In a word, the Tibetan Buddhists seem to be saying (with loving kindness): deal.
But let go of hope? I would have slit my wrists years ago without hope that things would change and get better. (And they did.) So I'm struggling with the notion even though I can also see the wisdom in it. In her words:
"Turning your mind toward the dharma does not bring security or confirmation. Turning your mind toward the dharma does not bring any ground to stand on. In fact, when your mind turns toward the dharma, you fearlessly acknowledge impermanence and change and begin to get the knack of hopelessness.
"In Tibetan there's an interesting word:
ye tang che. The
ye part means 'totally, completely,' and the rest of it means 'exhausted.' Altogether,
ye tang che means totally tired out. We might say 'totally fed up.' It describes an experience of complete hopelessness, of completely giving up hope. This is an important point. This is the beginning of the beginning. Without giving up hope-that there's somewhere better to be, that there's someone better to be-we will never relax with where we are or who we are...."
"To think that we can finally get it all together is unrealistic. To seek for some lasting security is futile....One has to give up hope that this way of thinking will bring us satisfaction. Suffering begins to dissolve when we can question the belief or the hope that there's somewhere to hide."
Now doesn't that make sense? However, even though I'm not a religious person, I am a believer. When I look at the world and see Darfur, Iraq, Gaza and good old Haliburton, deep underneath my inability to see God, deep underneath even my certainty that there just can't be a God, is still a belief in God. I don't think I could shake it no matter how hard I tried.
I am Grandmama's granddaughter. She and her sister, my Aunt Susie used to take me to church when I was a little girl. I loved everything about church when I was little: The Methodist ladies in their hats. The butterscotches and peppermints my grandmother and great aunt kept in their "pocketbooks" to calm coughs and soothe children.
I'm going up yonder to be with my lord sung in loud, sweet voices. The paper fans with Jesus's or Martin Luther King Jr.'s picture on one side and ads for Thomas Funeral Home on the other. (Grandmama & Aunt Susie's brother-in-law was Lonnie Thomas.)
But when I was about 10 and my parents' marriage was beginning to unravel and I was old enough to hear the snippy gossip and notice when folks weren't exactly walking their talk, I stopped going to church. When I went to college and took religion and philosophy classes, I grew even more distant from religion.
Yet it goes bone deep. The first thing I do when I need help is say "Please God." The first thing I do when I'm happy is say "Thank you God." Belief is all through my writing. Every single book.
Belief in God and hope (for me) go hand in hand. Letting go of one would seem like letting go of the other. And even though that makes sense on so many levels, the Grandmama and Aunt Susie in me will never let go.
However, I'm still getting a lot from this book (which I have to read very slowly because it does blow my little mind). And I have some CDs by Chodron called "How to Meditate." Clearly, there is much to learn. If any Tibetan Buddhists (or anyone else) wants to weigh in, I'd love to hear what you have to say about hope.