I have a somewhat wavering faith in something I cannot name. Call it God. Call it a higher power. Call it the universe. I don't know what it is, but I believe in it even when I also doubt it. (Like, how can entire ethnicities, countries, genders, religions catch so much hell if there is a higher power?) It is beyond my understanding, but then so would God be. What keeps me believing or makes me return to believing just when I think I no longer believe is a feeling that unseen forces are at work in my life.
I shared this story with a BB (blogosphere buddy) and she enjoyed it so I will share it with all of you. It illustrates what I mean. About 7 years ago a friend of mine applied for a job that as soon as she told me about it, I felt like it sounded perfect for ME, which, of course, I didn't tell her. They offered her the position, and she ended up declining it. I assumed they would just offer it to the next person in line. A different friend told me about another job so I looked in the paper and what did I see, but the job I wanted and my friend turned down. I applied for it and they offered it to me.
Before I started, I was working on the Age Ain't Nothing but a Number anthology proposal and one particular day was feeling kind of discouraged about it and didn't feel like working on it. I picked up the folder and moved it to the other side of my desk thinking I just can't face this today. 20 minutes later the phone rang. It was my new boss. He said I have a message for you from your agent. I almost fell over! Turns out, he bought my books on Amazon and found out that he and I had the SAME AGENT in NYC! (A different agent than I have now.) He called her to tell her he had hired me and she told him, Tell her I'm waiting on that book proposal.
Before I started, I was working on the Age Ain't Nothing but a Number anthology proposal and one particular day was feeling kind of discouraged about it and didn't feel like working on it. I picked up the folder and moved it to the other side of my desk thinking I just can't face this today. 20 minutes later the phone rang. It was my new boss. He said I have a message for you from your agent. I almost fell over! Turns out, he bought my books on Amazon and found out that he and I had the SAME AGENT in NYC! (A different agent than I have now.) He called her to tell her he had hired me and she told him, Tell her I'm waiting on that book proposal.
I couldn't help but see that as a sign that I was on the right path. That job was very important to me because of the people it brought into my life, people I'm still friends with several years after not working there anymore. And, of course, that moment gave me the encouragement I needed to keep going on the proposal, which opened the world up to me in many ways. So I believe.
Now I've got this song stuck in my head.
