The middle...again

I've written here before about how writing the middle is the hardest part of writing a novel for me. But I'm realizing something: it's not just writing where I don't "get" the middle. It's everything.

I'm doing Weight Watchers. In my life I've either been a guilt-ridden food Nazi or a carefree glutton. Never spent time somewhere in the middle, where you mostly watch what you eat but also know life's too short to never have a margarita or a chocolate chip cookie. I've noticed WW is triggering my BE GOOD button, making me want to "beat" the points system by not eating them all. I have to force myself to dip into the weekly additional points WW allows. But force myself I will because I'm no longer interested in the pendulum swinging back and forth. There's got to be something between brown rice and water on one hand or death by chocolate and burgers on the other! Right? Right?

So I'm going to try dividing my points in such a way that every other day there's a little wiggle room for a treat. I'll see how that works. Cause the once-a-week-pig-out doesn't feel real great and neither does letting those points go unused. It's not sustainable over the long haul.

Oh shit. It's balance again. Or my lack thereof. Again. I am an all or nothing person. Either I'm totally obsessed with my current work or my netbook is collecting dust. What about opening it and working on it some, a little bit every day? Or working fiendishly Monday-Friday and taking the weekends off?

No wonder the middle is the hard part of the book for me to write! I'm comfortable being way over on one side or the other, the beginning or the end, hot or cold, black or white, and don't get me started on fucking "blue dog Democrats." (If you're a Dem, be a Dem for God's sake!)

I can see I've got my work cut out for me. Maybe I'll start a new blog about my challenges finding balance. Yeah, and I'll turn it into a book and a movie! And I'll do speaking engagements all about balance and the middle! My WHOLE life will be about being in the middle!

Yeah, I've got my work cut out for me. I am such a Gemini.

Great news: Jihan's transplant was successful!

Remember my friend Jihan who needed the heart transplant? Just got an email from her and she received her new heart and has had a speedy recovery and is home! In her own words:

It has been an AMAZING and whirlwind experience! God is an awesome god and She gets all the glory. I feel so fucking good! The nurses and doctors were just blown away by my speedy recovery.

And I want to thank you again for reaching out to your readers on my behalf. We still have some hefty financial hurdles to overcome, but right now, I just don't give a damn! LOL! I'm alive!!!

Thanks everybody who sent a little gift to help out. Jihan told me she received gifts from all over the country, from people she didn't know and she chalked that up, partly, to this blog community--so thanks! Y'all rock!!!

Have a heart

Back in June I mentioned that my new friend Jihan (who invited me to her lovely book club in L.A.) needs a new heart (my guess is the girl wore out the old one with much use) and was waiting to get on the transplant list. As of Sept. 12, she made it on the list! A heart transplant is something no person can undergo alone. She needs your prayers and good wishes. And also your financial support. The National Kidney Foundation estimated (back in 1998) that the first-year costs for a heart transplant are $311,000.

Please go to the National Transplant Assistant Fund and donate whatever you can afford. I can guarantee you it will go to help a good, kind person. Please give and please feel free to spread the word and shoot the URL (http://www.transplantfund.org/) around the Internets.

Stickking it to the man

I just signed up at stickk.com, a new website designed to help you meet your goals. My goal is walking 4 days a week. Should be easy, right? Well, but then I sit at the computer or I have to do the dishes or blah, blah, blah and the day goes by. So, I signed up for some help.

How does it work? You have a designated "referee" (or you can use the honor system) and you must report weekly about your progress. If you don't meet your goal you can pick a charity to give money to OR, and this is really genius, an anti-charity. A group you'd hate to give money to. So if I don't meet my goal, money will go to the George W. Bush Presidential Library. Think I'm going to let that happen? (There are lefty and righty anti-charities, for equal opportunity revulsion.)

You can use stickk.com for any goal: paying off debt, losing weight, writing a book. Check it out. And if you sign up, friend me! We can stickk it to the man together! Now, I have to go walk!

What goals are you reaching for and what do you do to make sure you get there?

What the F*** Pie

I watched the movie Waitress last night. The movie is touching, but the true story of the writer & director even more so. Actress Adrienne Shelly was 40 with a small daughter, a husband and a budding career as a filmmaker, and she was murdered shortly before the film was released.

Since landing in the hospital in June, I've been thinking a lot about my own mortality. It was heartbreaking to see Adrienne's daughter in the movie and hear the lullaby "Baby don't you cry" Adrienne wrote for the movie. The movie is ultimately joyful and quite a gift for a mother to leave a child, but, of course, the child would rather have the mother, right? Heartbreaking.

All last night I thought about the movie. And pie. Pie is big in the movie. The main character bakes pies with names like "I Hate My Husband Pie" and "Bad Baby Pie." This morning I read Patry Francis' blog post about her ritual of baking a blueberry pie for her muse every August. And I recalled that Jamey Hatley, too, has blogged about feeding her muse.

As some of y'all may know, about a year and a half ago I kicked a fierce sugar habit. But since coming home from the hospital, I have been ferociously craving chocolate cake. And since life is short, I've had some (and it was divine!). Now I wonder if it's not my body's way of asking for what it needs? Feeding the heart, feeding the muse, is there any difference? Or are these severe cravings just lovely hormonal changes brought on by perimenopause...and even if they are, do you listen to your hormones or ignore them?

It's painfully confusing to quit a bad habit and try so hard to be healthy and then end up sick. What's that supposed to mean? What's the lesson? What's the point? Maybe there's something to the idea of feeding oneself, to putting something in for all that we're putting out? If I were to create a pie right now it'd be called "What the F*** Pie." Since I have never mastered the art of pie crust, maybe I'll bake myself a What the F*** Chocolate Cake.

How do you feed yourself? How do you feed your muse? What kind of pie would you bake right now?

Lazy Day Links

During my time off from the blog, I had what my friend Marion calls an IFI, an incredible fucking insight. An epiphany. It has to do with my writing life. Before I got sick I was starting to become aware that I needed to find balance between writing and having a life. When you have no boss other than yourself, there's no one to blame for forcing you to sit at the computer all day. When you enjoy what you do, there seems to be no reason not to do it until you drop. But even as my own boss, doing a "job" I love, there needs to be limits.


For example. I used to write in the evenings or reread what I wrote earlier in the day or conduct research right before bed with the hope that I'd dream about my book in my sleep. My IFI is that I was programming myself to work in my sleep. Now, occasionally, to solve a particular problem in your work, this isn't a problem, but every night? My IFI is that sleep is for sleeping. Same with my "writing walks." Sometimes, ok. But every time, not good. I was really trying to live every moment of my life in service to writing. That is not in balance.


In the name of balance, I'm learning to not equate rest with laziness and laziness as a crime.


Here are a few enjoyable sites and/or interesting posts I've run across lately. Peruse at your leisure.


John Hershey is a garden-humor writer. His dandelion manifesto caught my eye in a local mag.
This blogger writes with humor about losing half her body weight (and of course got a book deal).
Speaking of humor, Bernie Mac, Rest in Peace. What About our Daughters has a brief, but powerful note that reminds us to live fully.
Condi hearts Denzel (wonder what Denzel thinks about that?). And approves of Thandie Newton playing her in a movie (who wouldn't?).
Sign up at Steven Barnes' website for daily tips on writing, publishing and living in balance.
July was hell on the yard, so I don't have any new garden porn. But go over to A Wrung Sponge for some easy-on-the-eyes garden pics and links to more!

So, I'm back

Hi everybody! How you been? What you been up to? Me? Sleeping, walking, reading (Tethered, Not a Day Goes By, Spontaneous Healing, The Thirteenth Tale, The South Beach Diet, 8 Weeks to Optimum Health, Anti-Inflammatory Foods for Health, The Once and Future King, The Cold Dish), watching movies (Wall-E, Hancock, Get Smart, Mamma Mia!), getting addicted to the first season of Mad Men, and keeping my peace-garden pumpkin, cantaloups and morning glories alive during triple-digit heat and NO RAIN for over a month. Also doing a little editing on Children of the Waters (which now has a pub date of July 2009).

Officially, I was on a break from book promotion, but I still had a few events planned that I kept. I met with a couple of book clubs. I have to say authors not courting book clubs: you don't know what you're missing! One book club (which doesn't have a name) held an orange, mint & honey-themed dinner (honey wheat bread, shrimp in an orange, mint sauce)-very yummy! Another book club (Circle of Sisters) held their meeting at Pete's Greektown Restaurant (which is right up the street from the fictional record store in my novel) and gave me a gift bag crammed with orange, mint & honey bath and body stuff the likes of which thrilled me to no end! I think I'm going to call my next books Chocolate and Champagne and Wads of Cash.

I also participated in a panel discussion at the University of Denver with writer, chef, and friend Marisol, Margaret Coel, author of Blood Memory, and Craig Johnson, author of the Walt Longmire Mysteries. The panel, moderated by the lead buyer at the Tattered Cover, was part of a class on the business of publishing. Interesting takeaway: All four of our stories of how we got published had a bit what might be called magic or good luck or fate. Never underestimate the power of paying attention to your life. And all four of us benefitted from the kindness of others in the profession. Never underestimate kindness.

For the folks who emailed me or left comments about taking care of themselves, I will be in touch soon about sending you a signed paperback or an audiobook.

Hiatus--See you in August

Yes, folks, I'm taking some time off from the blog. (Thanks Josie for the example!) I'd like to suggest that we all take some time to rest and rejuvenate in July. So, a contest. I'm giving out an autographed copy of Orange Mint and Honey OR an audio version of Orange Mint to five people for doing something to take good care of themselves. A book (paper or audio) will go to whoever does:

The most decadent

The most inventive

The most daring

The funniest

The most healing

You can email me or leave what you do in the comments. (I won't be checking email much during the next month either. Yay!)

Before I go, I want to take a minute to recommend a book hitting shelves at the end of July. It's called Going Down South by Bonnie Glover. (Larramie, you'll want it just for the beautiful cover-daisies!) It's the first novel I've been asked to blurb and it was my great honor to be able to read an advance copy of it. It's a wonderful multigenerational story of mothers and daughters.

From the book jacket:

From the author of The Middle Sister comes a heartwarming tale of second chances and the unparalleled love between mothers and daughters. When fifteen-year-old Olivia Jean finds herself in the “family way,” her mother, Daisy, who has never been very maternal, springs into action. Daisy decides that Olivia Jean can’t stay in New York and whisks her away to her grandmother’s farm in Alabama to have the baby–even though Daisy and her mother, Birdie, have been estranged for years. When they arrive, Birdie lays down the law: Sure, her granddaughter can stay, but Daisy will have to stay as well. Though Daisy is furious, she has no choice. Now, under one little roof in the 1960s Deep South, three generations of spirited, proud women are forced to live together. One by one, they begin to lose their inhibitions and share their secrets. And as long-guarded truths emerge, a baby is born–a child with the power to turn these virtual strangers into a real, honest-to-goodness family.

“Long live Olivia Jean, Daisy, and Birdie! These three daughters, mothers, and women are smart, feisty, and funny. Their stories will break your heart in the very best way. I absolutely loved Going Down South!” —Carleen Brice, author of Orange Mint and Honey

So, your challenges for July, should you choose to accept them are: Have fun, get some rest and buy Going Down South. Meet you back here in August!

Let the healing continue

I had lots of stuff planned for the last couple of weeks in June. A book-signing, a weekend intensive, a group reading with Lighthouse Litfest participants, a fundraiser for Lighthouse, and a one-week class at the Aspen Writers Retreat (with 300 pages of workshop entries to critique before hand). All cancelled due to my health. Oh yeah, I was also going to send in novel 2 by the end of the month.

I knew I'd been pushing it for a while, but my plan was to get through the rest of this month and then chill. However, my body's plan was to chill NOW. Not next week. Not next month. As Larramie noted, I'm like Humpty Dumpty (in oh so many ways!) putting myself back together again. Slowly. This time my body's calling all the shots and my mind has to follow.

This version of a Buddhist meditation on loving kindness from Andrew Weil's book 8 Weeks to Optimum Health really helps. It's specifically for those with heart disease, but I think it helps with everything. In light of Tim Russert's death, seems like all our hearts, healthy or not, could use a little more loving kindness:

My heart fills with loving kindness. I love myself. May I be happy. May I be peaceful. May I be liberated.
May all beings in this vicinity be happy. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated.
May all beings in [name your city] be happy. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated.
May all beings in [name your state/region] be happy. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated.
May all beings in [name your country] be happy. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated. May all beings in [name your continent] be happy. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated.
May all beings on the planet be happy. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated.
[This line is added by me] May my husband/wife/partner be happy. May they be well. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated.
May my parents [and siblings--added by me] be happy. May they be well. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated.
May my friends [and relatives--added by me] be happy. May they be well. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated.
May my enemies be happy. May they be well. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated.
If I have hurt anyone, knowingly or unknowingly, in thought or word or deed, I ask their forgiveness.
If anyone has hurt me, knowingly or unknowingly, in thought or word or deed, I extend my forgiveness.
May all beings everywhere, whether near or far, whether known to me or unknown to me, be happy. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated.

And for all of you: May my blog friends be happy. May you be well. May you be peaceful. May you be liberated.

The other things helping right now are these and these, which hubby and my great friend Maryann found at our local grocery, King Soopers.

And for a laugh till you cry, nothing beats this:

Piecing it together

Puzzle pieces play an important role in my next book. A few weeks ago I was excited to find Piece of the Puzzle Affirmative Jewelry and snatched up several tokens. I keep this one that says "I am creating" on my desk. (The "I am" is on the other side.) In a bead shop in Ventura, CA I bought some silky black string to make necklaces with them. The day I went into the hospital I was wearing one that said "I am powerful." Today, I'm wearing "I am blessed." I also have "I am courageous." I may wear them all to my upcoming follow-up doctor appointments!

Lifetime TV and Me

The news is out. From Publisher's Marketplace. Thanks to those who emailed me about it.

TELEVISION RIGHTS
Carleen Brice's first novel Orange Mint and Honey, an African American mother-daughter story which explores the devastation of substance abuse and parental neglect, and celebrates forgiveness, redemption and second chances, optioned for television to Stephen Bulka at Lifetime, by Caron Knauer, on behalf of Victoria Sanders & Associates.

This is for a television movie on the Lifetime Movie Network. As they say in the TV biz, stay tuned....

In other news, my health hit a bump this week. I spent a couple of days in the hospital. But the prognosis is excellent and I expect the healing to continue.